12 Things Every Woman Thinks During Labor

12 Things Every Woman Thinks During Labor
Written by: Cathy Smith

1.   I can't wait to meet this baby!

Those first few contractions can be exhilarating and/or scary.  Reality sets in that this day, you will finally meet your sweet baby.

2. These contractions aren't so bad.

What's the big fuss about labor right?!  It's not that intense.  I myself succumbed to this thought and want to slap myself in the face later on for even thinking that labor would be a walk in the park the second, third, etc...time around.

3.  Whoa!  These contractions are getting intense.

Refer to #2 with why I always want to slap myself in the face.  What was I thinking? That labor would be a walk in the park?  Rest assured to  know these surges are doing some good work when you can no longer talk or walk through them.

4.   I can do this.

You will go back and forth in your mind about what you can tolerate.  I can do this, is a wonderfully empowered place to be.  It is such a basic but powerful thought.

5.   I can't do this.

We have all been there.  At some point in your labor, this thought will pass through your mind.  It's usually at the transitional time or a recurring thought during very long labors.  It brings you to a place of ultimate vulnerability.  Letting your mind go and succumbing to your body is an arduous process.

6.   F$*^ or OMG!!!!

This potty mouth thought usually occurs right before the strongest urge of your life occurs.  Words really can't convey the all consuming feeling your body feels.


7.   It burns!/Get it out!

I have to laugh at this one.  Not only do most women who give birth vaginally think this thought, but most speak either expression right as the head is crowning.  Or refer to #6.  It can be described as the ring of fire.  What you feel at this moment in your life will be etched into your memory forever.  It is you in your very most primal state.  I remember the pain but think about it lovingly.  For it was at this moment, that my children were in between worlds.


8.   No Thoughts...Just the largest sense of relief.

You have just birthed your baby.  In a few microseconds, your thought will be, let me see/hold my baby.  Your heart is about to melt.  But right now there is an amazing sense that you've completed your task.


9.Oh my goodness I just had a baby!

Sweet relief.  Childbirth is over.  Hallelujah!


10. Let me see/Hold my baby.

Those first moments of seeing your newborn and holding that sweet, warm, wet babe will be the most precious moments of your life.  Even as I write this and remember my own little angels births, I can't help but shed tears at the miracle of this first connection.


11. This baby is beautiful!

Yes mama.  Your child is the most beautiful creature on this Earth.  Pure and perfect.  You created one darn lookin kid.  You should be proud.


12. I did it!

You actually did it.  You rocked your birth!  Whether it was natural birth with hypnobirthing, or used every drug in the arsenal, you just birthed a baby!  You are a part of the most amazing club on Earth...the Mommy Club.  We are woman, hear us roar.  Give yourself a pat on the back, enjoy that beautiful child, and know that you can do anything!

Healing From Birth Trauma

"Even if our birth story was never told to us, our bodies remember.  We know our family history.  Even if 'forgotten', we know it somewhere deep inside.  Birth Therapy shows that the emotions and attitudes of an adult’s life are present in our birth experience.  This becomes what we have taken on as our life’s healing."  I read this the other day, while looking for ideas to help me to support mothers who need to heal from their birth experiences.  Reading that really struck a cord with me because my own birth was very traumatic, so it's no wonder that I have such a big heart for birth work.  It's not just a job, it's a passion. 

As a doula, I try to support a family as best as I can, to have the birth that they are hoping for.  But I know that it's not always possible.  Some times we don't get the beautiful experiences that we're hoping for and we feel disappointed.  Sometimes we have an experience that is completely opposite of what we wanted and we are traumatized by what happened.  So what can I do, to help a family to begin to heal from their birth trauma?  Search for ways to support these families through their healing.

I don't know if any of you follow January Harshe & her Birth Without Fear Blog, but if not, you should check it out.  So much awesomeness. Anyways, she recently posted on her Facebook page, a picture of her tub all set up for a healing postpartum bath after her most recent birth.  

  Then, I started googling 'healing from a traumatic birth' & 'affirmations for healing birth trauma'.  I came across this blog: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/birth-reclaiming-ceremony/ and decided this would be such an amazing service to offer & why have I never heard of this until now?

Digging a little deeper, I found ideas for birth trauma healing workshops.  These will be in a small group setting and won't be as personal as a birth reclaiming ceremony in a clients home, but they will still work towards the same purpose. Healing & bonding with their child.

Cathy & I are excited to announce that we are now offering personalized birth reclaiming ceremonies and will be offering birth healing workshops in the near future! We've got a beautiful space in Minooka where we have been offering childbirth education, as well as breastfeeding and postpartum support.  We really are looking for more ways to support families in our community and are excited to expand our services.  If any of you have any suggestions, we would be glad to hear them! 

Love & Warmth,

Andrea

The Power of Fear

As a mother & doula, I have a strong belief that fear has the ability to interfere with or prevent labor.  Why? In labor, catecholamines (the stress hormones) have the potential to stop labor. When a woman is very frightened labor fails to progress. I'm not just refering to fear of labor or birth. It could be fear of parenting, fear  of the unknown or past traumas resurfacing.  

Of my 4 full term births, I have only gone into labor on my own once & I truly feel that it is because I trusted (didn't fear) my providers, so I felt secure enough for my body to work the way it was meant to.  This was for the birth of my 3rd daughter, after being induced with my 1st daughter & having a c-section without labor with my 2nd daughter.  For the birth of my 4th daughter, I expected it to be similar to what I experienced with my 3rd.

Unfortunately, at 38 or 39 weeks, one of the midwives in the practice started bringing up meeting with an OB to schedule a cesarean.  This struck me as odd that she would bring this up before I was even 40 weeks, but I felt secure in knowing that my body could do it, just as it had the last time.  However, she had untentionally planted a seed of doubt & that seed of doubt quickly grew into fear.  I actually scheduled a repeat c-section for 41 weeks & 3 days, which sent me into panic mode.  Another midwife in the group realized the day before, that I had a c-section scheduled for the following day.  I planned to not show up.  She convinced me to come in & be induced instead.  I was able to have a beautiful birth experience with a great supportive group of people that I trusted surrounding me, but my body never did take over completely on it's own.

If you've never heard of Ina May Gaskin, I highly recommend reading some of her books.  My favorite book of hers is called 'Ina May's Guide To Childbirth'.  Aside from the inspiring birth stories in this book, there is a wonderful chapter in it called The Powerful Mind/Body Connection where Ina talks about how our thinking & emotions can affect our labor.  In this chapter, she recalls women being unable to progress in labor until they have faced their fears, whatever they may be.  Then she speaks of instances where a mother wills her body to open up.  One instance in particular, Ina was checking a woman's dilation.  The woman was at 4cm and as Ina was checking her the woman said that she just wanted her body to open up.  When she spoke those words Ina felt the woman's cervix open another 2cm.  I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about how amazing that must have been!

Ina May Gaskin Quotes:

"True words spoken can sometimes relax the pelvic floor muscles by discharging emotions that effectively block further progress in labor."

"For a variety of reasons, a lot of women have also come to believe that nature made a serious mistake with their bodies."  

"The Creator is not a careless mechanic."

"Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body"

Marie Mongan talks about the affects of fear in her book HypnoBirthing a Celebration of Life.  Marie says, "It is believed that catecholamine is released in large concentration prior to and during labor when a woman approaches labor with unresolved fear.".  So, how do we overcome our fears?

Here are a few suggestions:

• Read some positive birth stories.
• Make some birth affirmation cards that you can read whenever that fear starts to creep in and make it a daily practice to read them aloud.
• Do something that relaxes you. Read, swim, take a walk, get a massage, meditate.... whatever helps & is in your means to do.
• Pray.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Sometime we can't fight battles on our own, nor should we.  You can even get creative & make a prayer flag.
• Try a fear release exercise.  There's a great one here: http://www.transitiontoparenthood.com/ttp/foreducators/handouts/Tigers.pdf

I had been meaning to write this blog for over a month now, but I felt that now was the right time, with a very special client in mind.  I hope this will help her and many other women to face their fears & conquer them.  We were made for this.

With Love,

Andrea

Shave, Wax, or Au Naturale

Ok so this is an odd subject for my very first blog.  I recently just had a prenatal appointment with a beautiful Mother of soon to be 3 and the subject of grooming came up.  I have had countless women say to me that one of their fears about giving birth is that they won't have time to attend to their lady bits.

 I remember speaking about this with my midwife before having my first baby.  I made sure I was freshly showered before each prenatal appointment, and feared that I would smell or not look as fresh as a daisy.  In fact, my top 3 fears about having a baby the first time were:
 1. I would have my baby in the car
 2.  Am I going to be able to handle the pain and
 3. What if I go into the delivery room like bush woman from a horrid 70's porno?

My midwife reassured me that she has seen it all and that I won't be worrying about this on the big day.  Internally I thought, yeah right.

As a doula and soon to be nurse, I can attest to what my midwife says.  Yes, I and numerous health professionals will see your vagina.  No, we could care less what your pubic hair looks like.  No, your birth partner or spouse will not care what your pubic hair looks like.  And finally, when you are in labor and getting ready to receive your miracle, what your vagina looks like will be the furthest thing from your mind.  I promise!

I strongly suggest to take a break from grooming.  Shaving and/or waxing puts you at risk for infection!  Who wants to mar that magical time of having a new baby by dealing with this.

  You are beautiful, your body is beautiful, and bringing your baby into the world is beautiful.
-Cathy

To Be Continued...

Welcome!

We've got a ton of new & exciting things happening at A Joyful Journey!

Cathy & I met a little over a year ago.  We were both excited to find another doula in the south suburbs, so we got together.  Our relationship just felt so natural, like we were long lost friends.  Since we were so alike, we decided to become each other's back-up.

We initially had 2 separate businesses.  A Joyful Journey was hers & A.M. Natural Birth was mine. A few months back, we decided to merge our businesses into 1 business, keeping the name A Joyful Journey.   Joining forces allows us to do what we love, with less chance of burn out.We each get to attend consultations & prenatal visits together, and we are on call on different days of the week. This way our clients get to know the both of us, and they are comfortable with either of us being at their birth. This way, we're able to schedule family events, get togethers, field trips, etc. around the days that we're on call and we don't have to worry about missing a clients  birth or one of our children's plays.

We are both DONA trained doulas.  We offer prenatal, birth & postpartum support.  This includes a range of services including consultations, assistance creating a birth plan, childbirth education, breastfeeding education,  labor support, rebozo techniques, bellybinding, etc.  Our education is continuous so that we can provide the best possible service to our clients. I recently attended a toLabor (formerly ALACE) doula training & we are both hoping to attend a Tranquil Transitions Placenta Training by this spring!

Additionally, we would like to welcome Certified Hypnobirthing Instructor, Anna Rodney & Licensed Massage Therapist, Christina Osborne to our growing team!   Now we're able to offer our clients a more extensive childbirth education class, as well as prenatal & postpartum massage therapy!

Stay tuned for new updates & changes!