A First of Many!!!

Last Saturday, October 17th 2015, something amazing happened at New Life Church in New Lenox, IL.  

Something that Cathy & I had been working tirelessly to organize and promote for the past 6 months.  Last Saturday, our very first fundraiser took place!  The fundraiser was for our local domestic violence program called Groundwork!

Even though we raised a decent amount  of money ($656.55 after expenses), so much more was raised besides funds that day!

You see, my mom was a victim of domestic violence...

my dad was her abuser...

and myself and my siblings were raised in a violent upbringing.

Last Saturday, we got to raise awareness and raise our voices.  

We know that silence hides violence, so we stood together and spoke out against domestic violence!

Our speakers consisted of myself, my brother Jake, the Groundwork Program Director Amirrah, Groundwork client Sarah and my friend Angelica.  We each had different stories to tell...

...I was able to tell the story of my traumatic birth, which my mom and I both nearly lost our lives, as a result of that day....

...My brother Jake talked about what it was like for him as a little boy, growing up seeing our dad beat our mom... and fearing for our lives.  He spoke about the struggles that he still faces today... and the importance of good male role models in our children's lives...

...Amirrah shared with us the importance of the Groundwork program in our community and her hopes that one day there won't be a need for such a program...

Sarah spoke about her experience with a boyfriend (who hit her for the first time by back handing her as he drove them someplace)... she said she was so stunned that she apologized to him and kept telling herself that they would be okay... however, the abuse continued and escalated for years before she finally left him for good.... and it seems like a miracle to me that she survived the things that he put her through...

... Angelica talked about a relationship that she got into when she was 15 or 16.  Her boyfriend was mean and controlling... but had never hit her... until he did.  Only, the first time that he hit her wasn't just a slap (whatever that means)... He brutally beat her... to the point where she was covered in blood and had to be hospitalized at 16 years old....

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE knows no class, race, age, etc.  

It can happen and it does happen everyday.

I felt so honored to have been in the presence of so many survivors of domestic violence..

knowing that there were so many more who haven't survived.

Aside from speakers, we made sure to have something to entertain the whole family!  It was a vendor fair, so we had shopping!  

We also had raffle prizes, a jumpy house for the kids, face painting & delicious brunch catered by my sister Jen.  

Everyone had a great time!  

Cathy & I can't wait to do it again (BIGGER & BETTER) next year!

Lots of Love,

Andrea

Being Proud of Your Cesarean Birth

I love when I make new acquaintances and we get on the topic of birth.  As a doula, birth is always on my mind. I am always excited to talk about other womens' experiences. Lately, I've noticed a trend that makes me sad.  Women hanging their heads in shame when they tell me that one of their births ended in a cesarean section.  This shame saddens me to no end.

When have we started as a society, shaming women because their child was birthed surgically?  What gives us the right to shame other women.  Women are shamed today for just about everything.  We have fought for the right to vote, the right to decide what to do with our bodies, and equality. We have to justify our decision to work outside the home, be a stay at home mom, our finances, and the endure the endless shaming of our appearance on advertising, television, and social media.

Yes of course for most women, a cesarean is not the desired birth.  But for some, it is.  It is not our right to judge.  My job and my personal belief is to support women of every culture, background, and decision they make. Women make decisions based on what they believe to be the best for their baby and their body.

Don't hang your head if you had an unplanned, unwanted c-section.  You are not a failure.  You accomplished an awesome feat!  You brought a beautiful baby into the world.  You and your baby overcame an obstacle and thrived.  Be proud of yourselves ladies.  Stop shaming each other.  Most importantly, stop shaming yourself!  You were created by God and he doesn't make mistakes.

So the next time I talk with a woman who birthed her baby via cesarean, I want to hear all about the positive aspects of the birth.  Don't hang your head in shame. Be Proud!

Peace and Love,

Cathy Smith, CD(DONA)