Cathy's Reality Check/ Counting My Blessings

I really can't believe it's that time of year again.  Truly...didn't summer just start?  I'm writing this blog not as your doula, or business acquintance, but as a busy Mom.  I had such great aspirations for this summer.  Tons of reading, family time, and relaxation. I was going to step back a bit from the business world and enjoy my last summer, not being a student.  Babies have another plan.  We had tremendous business growth this summer. (Yay!!)  I also had tons of playtime with my kiddos. We enjoyed crafting, forts, swimming pools, and potty trained my youngest.  Pretty fantastic summer if you ask me!

I took a lot of time to relect on what I want to accomplish this year.  I am both nervous and excited about my kids starting school, and daycare for the first time. A part of me is jumping up and down that they will be back in school.  The other part wants to squeeze them to my side, and never let them leave.  This year I will be starting my midwifery program, juggling after school activities,running our business, and of course my household.

I am a type A personality.  I want everything to run smoothly and stay organized.  I want homecooked meals, a clean house, our business to grow, and straight A's.  I know this will not happen.  But a girl can hope. ;-)

We as women and moms, continually fill up our plates.  We want to succeed at everything.  I am afraid of overloading my proverbial plate and failing from the weight of all I have taken on.  Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?!

In order to combat this, I am stating the allowances I will make myself.

1. I will try to continue to put God first.  This means church once a week, daily devotions and prayers and  leading a table of fine women at my local MOPS.  It's amazing how spiritually refreshed I feel when I take time to serve and learn about God.

2. I will spend quality time with my kids, even if I can no longer spend the quantity of time I want. This will include reading, crafts, and my least favorite...playing pretend.  When taking quality time with my kiddos, I will not check my phone (although if I'm on call, I'll still answer).  I will give them my undivided attention and not think about all the tasks I need to accomplish for the day.

3. Homecooked meals may have to include: sandwiches, cereal, and gasp...the occasional fast food banquet. I love cooking.  It pleases me to no end to give my family nourishing food that is free of processing.  Cooking is an outlet for me and about as creative as I get. Maybe I can spruce up chicken nuggets. ha ha ( I'm really not a crafty person.)

4. The house will no longer be able to be as clean as I want it to be.  Who am I kidding; it's never as clean as I want it to be.  I have 3 kids, 2 cats, 1 Labrador retriever, 2 goldfish, 6 chickens, and 1 chameleon.  This maybe harder for me to let go than anything else.  Lord, bring me peace on this.

4. While straight A's may not be achievable, I will strive to do the best I can do.  More importantly than straight A's, I really want to enjoy my studies.  On the days my kids are in daycare or in bed, I want to revel in my textbooks, write papers without focusing on how fast I can get it done. MCU is going to be amazing!

5. Lastly but just as importantly,  I will not forget about my husband.  He is my greatest cheerleader.  Being a Mom, student, business woman takes a great deal of time.  But none of those will be achievable if I don't take time to be a partner/wife to my beloved. Sometimes it's hard to change back into that role.  At the end of the day, and in a few years when my kids are living their own life.  It goes back to Kiel and I.  Taking the time to nurture our relationship is beyond priceless.

So this blog isn't about business at all.  It doesn't mean I'm not focused on business or that our clients arent' important to us. I wanted all you fabulous, lovely ladies to know a bit more about me.  I am a mom. I am a wife.  I am a doula.  I will be a student again.  I am going to nail this.  Even if it's not perfect, I will do it to the best of my ability.  I am blessed.

Peace,

Cathy

Amazing Things!!!

I'm so excited to be in the line of work that I'm in!  Being a birth and postpartum doula is an amazing job.  I may be biased, but I think we get the best clients EVER!  As Cathy begins midwifery school this fall, I'll be taking classes at my junior college to get the credits that I need to add IBCLC to the end of my name.  All the while, our main focus is to provide the best support possible to our pregnant, birthing, and postpartum clients.  As a CLS, who is not working under an IBCLC or in a hospital setting, my assistance to our breastfeeding clients can only go so far.  So, it only makes sense for me to continue my education to better serve our amazing clients!

In other news, 2 weekends ago I spent 3 days in beautiful Kearney, MO., with some of the most amazing women (and a few men) that I had ever met.  I'll spare you all the details here, but you can read about my experience on my personal blog, here: Andrea's Short Stories 

Being a birth & bereavement doula, I get tagged in Facebook posts semi-regularly, about a mom in the area, looking for support after suffering a loss.  I have several friends who have had losses, and I myself lost my very first baby, almost 14 years ago. It's something that happens all too often, more often than people think, because we don't talk about it.  But we don't forget, and it never goes away.  I feel this strong calling to start a loss support group that's not in a hospital setting.  A safe place for mothers and fathers to come to, to grieve, to share, to hope.  I truly hope to get a group up and running within the next few months.

Cathy also was able to spend a weekend recently, with some amazing midwives, learning all about midwifery type things. ;)  You'll have to ask her about.  I have no clue.  All I know is that she loved it.

Now, for the event of the year.....
Cathy and I are working hard to create a fundraiser event that is BIGGER AND BETTER than last year!  Last year we hosted a vendor fair and the proceeds were donated to Groudwork Domestic Violence Program.  We raised almost $800.  It was a ton of fun.  We had face painting and a bouncy house for the kids!  We had shopping!  We had food!  We had guest speakers!  However, we didn't get a ton of traffic.

How awesome would it be if we could double... or maybe even triple the amount that we raised last year!  Think about it.  This program is providing shelter to women escaping abusive relationships.  It's providing counseling, advocacy, legal resources, even basic necessities like food and toiletries. How amazing would it be to be a part of changing helping victims of domestic violence to become survivors!  But we can't do it on our own.  We need help.  We need vendors!  We need attendants!  We need volunteers!  We would like our vendor event to be focused on parenting resources this year, but we're having trouble finding vendors to fulfill those rolls.  We're thinking car seat safety techs, swim safety, speech therapy, family counseling, children's clubs, children's toys or clothing, and the likes.  We would love to hear any ideas!  For further info please email me at myers.andrea79@yahoo.com  Thanks for your help!

Warmly,
Andrea

Being Proud of Your Cesarean Birth

I love when I make new acquaintances and we get on the topic of birth.  As a doula, birth is always on my mind. I am always excited to talk about other womens' experiences. Lately, I've noticed a trend that makes me sad.  Women hanging their heads in shame when they tell me that one of their births ended in a cesarean section.  This shame saddens me to no end.

When have we started as a society, shaming women because their child was birthed surgically?  What gives us the right to shame other women.  Women are shamed today for just about everything.  We have fought for the right to vote, the right to decide what to do with our bodies, and equality. We have to justify our decision to work outside the home, be a stay at home mom, our finances, and the endure the endless shaming of our appearance on advertising, television, and social media.

Yes of course for most women, a cesarean is not the desired birth.  But for some, it is.  It is not our right to judge.  My job and my personal belief is to support women of every culture, background, and decision they make. Women make decisions based on what they believe to be the best for their baby and their body.

Don't hang your head if you had an unplanned, unwanted c-section.  You are not a failure.  You accomplished an awesome feat!  You brought a beautiful baby into the world.  You and your baby overcame an obstacle and thrived.  Be proud of yourselves ladies.  Stop shaming each other.  Most importantly, stop shaming yourself!  You were created by God and he doesn't make mistakes.

So the next time I talk with a woman who birthed her baby via cesarean, I want to hear all about the positive aspects of the birth.  Don't hang your head in shame. Be Proud!

Peace and Love,

Cathy Smith, CD(DONA)

Dilation is Just A Number

Most people know that when it comes to giving birth vaginally, a woman’s cervix must go from 0 cm to 10 cm, before she can deliver her baby. Okay, so it's not just a number, it does play a pretty important role. Personally, though, I think that expecting parents can focus a little too much on the number and often times don’t realize the many other ways that labor is progressing.

For example, during the birth of my 4th daughter, I was in very active labor (if not transition) when my midwife suggested that she check the dilation of my cervix.  I consented & after checking me, she told me I was 5 cm.  Being very vulnerable & definitely in transition, I thought there was no way!  I had to be close to done!  After walking from the bathroom to the bed and a few really tough contractions, I was complete & began involuntarily pushing.  I went from 5 cm to baby in my arms in about 15 minutes!

That being said, aside from contractions & cervical dilation, there are other factors that can show us progress in labor.

1.Position of Cervix- A cervix moving from posterior (near the back, hard to reach) to anterior (near the front of the vagina, easy to reach) is considered a sign of progress.

2.Effacement- The cervix starts out long & firm, but as labor progresses, the cervix shortens &  thins.

3.Baby’s Station- The caregiver finds the ischial spines & estimates the distance between the spines and the baby’s head.  If the head is above the spines, it’s considered a negative station.  If it’s below, it’s considered a positive station.

4.Checking for Position
Anterior fontanel- The diamond shaped fontanel located near the front of baby's head is presented.
Posterior fontanel- The triangle shaped fontanel located towards the back of the baby's head is  presented.

As you can see, there are quite a few factors to look at when determining progress in labor.  Cervical dilation is just one of them.  Try not to get stuck on the number.

Written by: Andrea Myers

 Disclaimer: As doulas, we DO NOT perform clinical tasks i.e. check the cervix.  We leave that to the medical professionals.  We are just familiar with how the cervix works.