Cloth Diaper Swap & Sell

Have you ever wanted to learn more about cloth diapering from experienced Moms?  Come join us on Sunday, January 24 from 10am-2pm at Nurture the Journey in Minooka, IL. The event will be hosted by your fabulous doulas from A Joyful Journey.  www.nurturethejourney.com has all the details about our Swap & Sell.  Admission is free but if you'd like to sell your lovingly used diapers, then have $5 and a table at the door.

There will be an array of cloth diapers for sale.  From all in ones, to prefolds and snappies this is a great event if you're looking to try out cloth diapers or learn more about them without spending a fortune.

Snow or shine we will be there.  Kiddos are welcome!

Check out our website for more information on this and future events and services.
www.ajoyfuljourney.org

Are your children safe in the car? It depends...

It depends on a number of things....

Today I sat down with my friend Danielle Meintanis from Mighty Mama Birth Services to discuss carseat safety.  Like myself, Danielle has been a car seat safety advocate since her oldest child was a baby, but this past summer she decided to become a Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician.  I thought it would be great to hear from a professional, so I asked her some questions.

Q: Why did you decide to become a Child Passenger Safety Tech.?

A: I saw a lot of mistakes that parents or caregivers were making and I didn't want to offer advice without being professionally trained to help them.

Q: Although I'm a car seat safety advocate, I'm not professionally trained and I'm aware that I could be missing something important.  During your training, what did you learn that you didn't know before your training?

A:  We were told at the beginning of the class that everyone will go home and redo our car seats and that was true.  Everyone learned something new.

Q:  When you're doing car seat safety checks, what all is entailed in this process?  Do you teach the parents how to install and safely buckle their children into their seats?

The first thing we do is take all the car seats and boosters out of the car to check for recalls, damage, etc.

Then we make sure the child fits in the seat correctly and the straps are where they should be.

Next, we figure out where the best place is for each seat and make sure that the seats can be installed correctly into the vehicle.

Lastly, we uninstall the car seats and have the parents install them, then we check to make sure that they've got the seats installed correctly.

Q: What are the top most common mistakes that you see parents/caregivers making in regards to car seat safety?

A: 1. Using the LATCH & seat belt together.

-Many people feel that if they're safe on their own, it must be better when using both together, but this method can actually put too much strain on the car seat.

2. The straps are too loose.

-Many people think that if children are buckled, they will be safe, but if the straps are too loose on your child, it can be very dangerous in the event of a car accident, which brings us to our next point.

3. Wearing coats in car seats.

-Coats in car seats are a bad idea because they add bulk to your child, which means you have to loosen the straps.  In the event of a crash, the coat will compress and your child could be ejected from the car seat.

4. The chest clip in the wrong place.

-Often times, people will buckle the chest clip but won't make sure that the chest clip is on the child's chest.  It's often left too low (on the child's stomach) or too high up (near their throat).  The chest clip should actually be aligned with the child's armpit, right across their chest.

5. After market products in car seats.

-People believe that just because it's sold in stores, it's safe to use.  The truth is that many individual items that you buy to add to the car seat are not approved to safely use by the car seats manufacturer.  Please call your car seats manufacturer before using anything in the car seat that did not come with that seat.  Even if the item is mad by the same company, it may not be approved for the carseat model that you have.

6. Car seat location.

- Everyone hears that the middle seat is the safest, however, that's not always the case.  It depends on the seat, the vehicle and the child.  If you are using a middle seat and want to use the latch system, but the tethers are for the two side seats, it might be best to use the seat belt or move the car seat to another location in order to use the latch system safely.  

The best thing to do is bring your vehicle, car seats & children to a professional to ensure that your family is as safe as possible.  You can schedule an appointment with Danielle by visiting www.mightymamabirthservices.com or find a place near you to set up an appointment by going to safekids.org  If you would like your car seats checked out this weekend, there is a car seat safety check coming up on November 14th 10a.-1p. Target Garage 1101 W. Jackson Blvd. Chicago, IL.

A First of Many!!!

Last Saturday, October 17th 2015, something amazing happened at New Life Church in New Lenox, IL.  

Something that Cathy & I had been working tirelessly to organize and promote for the past 6 months.  Last Saturday, our very first fundraiser took place!  The fundraiser was for our local domestic violence program called Groundwork!

Even though we raised a decent amount  of money ($656.55 after expenses), so much more was raised besides funds that day!

You see, my mom was a victim of domestic violence...

my dad was her abuser...

and myself and my siblings were raised in a violent upbringing.

Last Saturday, we got to raise awareness and raise our voices.  

We know that silence hides violence, so we stood together and spoke out against domestic violence!

Our speakers consisted of myself, my brother Jake, the Groundwork Program Director Amirrah, Groundwork client Sarah and my friend Angelica.  We each had different stories to tell...

...I was able to tell the story of my traumatic birth, which my mom and I both nearly lost our lives, as a result of that day....

...My brother Jake talked about what it was like for him as a little boy, growing up seeing our dad beat our mom... and fearing for our lives.  He spoke about the struggles that he still faces today... and the importance of good male role models in our children's lives...

...Amirrah shared with us the importance of the Groundwork program in our community and her hopes that one day there won't be a need for such a program...

Sarah spoke about her experience with a boyfriend (who hit her for the first time by back handing her as he drove them someplace)... she said she was so stunned that she apologized to him and kept telling herself that they would be okay... however, the abuse continued and escalated for years before she finally left him for good.... and it seems like a miracle to me that she survived the things that he put her through...

... Angelica talked about a relationship that she got into when she was 15 or 16.  Her boyfriend was mean and controlling... but had never hit her... until he did.  Only, the first time that he hit her wasn't just a slap (whatever that means)... He brutally beat her... to the point where she was covered in blood and had to be hospitalized at 16 years old....

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE knows no class, race, age, etc.  

It can happen and it does happen everyday.

I felt so honored to have been in the presence of so many survivors of domestic violence..

knowing that there were so many more who haven't survived.

Aside from speakers, we made sure to have something to entertain the whole family!  It was a vendor fair, so we had shopping!  

We also had raffle prizes, a jumpy house for the kids, face painting & delicious brunch catered by my sister Jen.  

Everyone had a great time!  

Cathy & I can't wait to do it again (BIGGER & BETTER) next year!

Lots of Love,

Andrea

Being Proud of Your Cesarean Birth

I love when I make new acquaintances and we get on the topic of birth.  As a doula, birth is always on my mind. I am always excited to talk about other womens' experiences. Lately, I've noticed a trend that makes me sad.  Women hanging their heads in shame when they tell me that one of their births ended in a cesarean section.  This shame saddens me to no end.

When have we started as a society, shaming women because their child was birthed surgically?  What gives us the right to shame other women.  Women are shamed today for just about everything.  We have fought for the right to vote, the right to decide what to do with our bodies, and equality. We have to justify our decision to work outside the home, be a stay at home mom, our finances, and the endure the endless shaming of our appearance on advertising, television, and social media.

Yes of course for most women, a cesarean is not the desired birth.  But for some, it is.  It is not our right to judge.  My job and my personal belief is to support women of every culture, background, and decision they make. Women make decisions based on what they believe to be the best for their baby and their body.

Don't hang your head if you had an unplanned, unwanted c-section.  You are not a failure.  You accomplished an awesome feat!  You brought a beautiful baby into the world.  You and your baby overcame an obstacle and thrived.  Be proud of yourselves ladies.  Stop shaming each other.  Most importantly, stop shaming yourself!  You were created by God and he doesn't make mistakes.

So the next time I talk with a woman who birthed her baby via cesarean, I want to hear all about the positive aspects of the birth.  Don't hang your head in shame. Be Proud!

Peace and Love,

Cathy Smith, CD(DONA)

Celebrating 1 Year With A Bang! Giving Back To Our Community!

This month marks 1 year since Cathy & I became business partners!  To celebrate, we wanted to do something to give back to our community. We began brainstorming a few months ago... maybe we'd host a diaper drive, or a March of Dimes walk, or some type of 5k.  We wanted to do something that related to moms & babies.  

After a lot of planning, I'm so excited to announce that we will be having a vendor fair next month to benefit Groundwork Domestic Violence Program! October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so we decided what better time to host such a special event?  Some people may wonder, what does domestic violence have to do with moms & babies?  The answer: domestic violence affects many, many mothers and therefore their babies & children.  Here are some statistics on who domestic violence hurts & how.

1. Facts About Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

• Affects approximately 1.5 million women each year
• Affects as many as 324,000 pregnant women each year
• May be more common than conditions for which pregnant women are routinely screened
• Possibly associated with unintended pregnancy, delayed prenatal care, smoking, alcohol and drug abuse

2.The effects of domestic violence on pregnancy

Abuse is harmful not only to the woman being abused, but also to her baby, particularly if she takes blows to the abdomen. Such attacks can cause fetal fractures and cause injuries to or ruptures of the pregnant woman's uterus, liver, or spleen.

Studies have shown that during pregnancy, an abuser's attacks will generally focus on the breasts, abdomen, and genitals, resulting in serious consequences on the mother, fetus, and newborn and giving rise to maternal mortality and morbidity. It's linked to an increased risk of miscarriage, low birth weight, fetal injury, and fetal death.

Other complications may include:

• uterine prolapse
• antepartum hemorrhage
• premature rupture of membranes
• premature labor
• abruptio placenta
• vaginal infection from forced or unprotected sex with someone who has an infection
• increased first and second trimester bleeding
• headache
• irritable bowel syndrome
• chronic pelvic pain
• increased risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV/AIDS

3. Domestic Violence in America: General Statistics and Facts

• Women ages 18 to 34 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
• More than 4 million women experience physical assault and rape by their partners.
• 1 in 3 female homicide victims are murdered by their current or former partner every year.

What are the Effects of Domestic Violence on Children?

• More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year.
• Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
• Children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.
• Children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.

What are the Effects of Domestic Violence on Mental Health?

• Domestic violence victims face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances, anxiety, flashbacks, and other emotional distress.
• Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors including chronic conditions such as heart disease or gastrointestinal disorders.
• Most women brought to emergency rooms due to domestic violence were socially isolated and had few social and financial resources.

What Happens if Domestic Violence Victims Do Not Receive Help?

• Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.
• Without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.

#1 FACT: Most domestic violence incidents are never reported.

Help change the facts. Speak up, speak out, and make a difference for victims of domestic violence.

Groundwork Domestic Violence Program is a wonderful resource for local families.  I'm so happy that we're able to give back to them.  If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, get help by reaching out at: 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 

24-HOUR HOTLINE: 

(815) 729-1228

To get involved in this fundraiser event, contact me at myers.andrea79@yahoo.com!

Read my birth story at http://andreasshortstories.weebly.com

Love & Light,

Andrea

1. http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/violence/intimatepartnerviolence/sld001.htm#2

2. http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/dv/pregnancy.php

3. http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics--facts-52.html

My Journey as a Stillbirthday Student

The past few weeks have been so busy for me!  I began my training to become a Stillbirthday Birth & Bereavment Doula last month.  I'm on week 5 & I'm learning so much!

I've trained with DONA & toLabor in the past and although I really value all that I learned through them, especially the hands on experience, I'm really enjoying being able to slow down as much as I need to & do this at my own pace. Plus, this really goes deep into the many possibilities surrounding loss.

I suffered a miscarriage when I was 15 years old.  Reading about early miscarriages brought back a lot of feelings that I hadn't felt in awhile. I suppose that's part of the beauty of this training.

Also, this training has seemed to open up a dialogue for me to be able to talk with other mothers about loss & for other mothers to be able to reach out to me. It's good to know that we're not alone in this.

One of the projects that I have to do is a community project.  I've decided to create a website for families going through loss which will have local resources for them, ways that I can support them & ideas for honoring their baby's life.

This is a tough journey, but I feel blessed to be on this journey.  I'm looking forward to being able to say (hopefully soon) that I'm a Certified SBD Doula.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a loss, please don't hesitate to reach out.  You're not alone in this journey.

Much Love,

Andrea

Placenta in Your Beauty Products!

You read that right!

  This interesting tidbit of information I just learned after training with the country's Master Postpartum Placenta Support person.  Deb Pocica from Placenta Prep (ProDoula) shared an amazing amount of knowledge with myself and quite a few other Birth and Postpartum Professionals from the Chicagoland area.  In other blogs I will go into the awesomeness of placentas but for right now, let's have a little fun!

Did you know that according to a few manufacturers, hormones extracted from the placenta help promote tissue growth.  You will find the names of placenta in "secret beauty talk" such as Hyaluronic Acid, Protein Hydrolysate, and Polypeptides.  When tissue growth is promoted, wrinkles are removed.  Must be where the expression comes from, Smooth as a baby's...Nevermind. :-)

I'm sure a few of you are saying eww.  But you should look at this differently.  It's just another reason why the placenta is so cool!  I don't know about you, but  I would rather have something with our biological structure on my face than a million other chemicals.

Just to name a few of these products that have these "secret beauty talk" ingredients are:

Dermalogica
Avon
Pevonia
Almay
Paula's Choice

So ladies, embrace the placenta.  It connected you and your baby, it nourished your baby, and it's making you appear 5-10 years younger according to the beauty industry.

Wishing you Peace and Harmony,

Cathy Smith
A Joyful Journey

....That's What Doulas Are Made Of.

When Cathy & I first met, we quickly realized that we shared some very similar qualities as doulas.  All doulas are different.  We all have different values, personalities & qualities that helps us to serve our clients.  Let me tell you a little bit about what the doulas at A Joyful Journey are made of.

• Flexible- I'm not talking yoga moves here.  We have to have flexible schedules for our clients.  Which means we're willing to be woken up in the middle of the night, or drop whatever we're doing in the middle of the day, to get to our clients when they need us.  It typically takes us around an hour to get to our clients.

• Balanced- Although we provide 24/7 on-call service to our clients starting at 37 weeks gestation, we can divide our on-call time, so that we can still tend to our families & have time off.  Doula work can be extremely stressful when you don't have a good support team.  There is an exceptionally high burnout rate for doulas, with the average career for a doula lasting about 3-5 years.  We understand the importance of balancing our careers & personal life.

• Professional- As professional doulas, we strive to act in a professional manner, not only with our clients, but with all members of their support team.  We do not overstep our boundaries by doing or saying things that are out of our scope of practice.  Aside from our initial doula training, we continue to further our education to better benefit the families that we serve.  This month alone, Cathy will be training to become a placenta specialist with Placenta Prep and I'll be training to become a bereavement doula with Stillbirthday.

• Non-Judgmental- Cathy & I believe in birth.  We absolutely believe in a woman's ability to birth her baby!  We also trust that our clients will make the decisions that are best for her & her baby.  We do not judge if a mom decides to do the opposite of what her birth plan says, or if she yells, screams or swears, or if she requests an epidural at the onset of labor, etc.  We offer evidence based information and non-judgmental support.  We respect your choices.

• Personality- Although our personality types are pretty different, we share some great characteristics.  We are both caring, thoughtful, calming & have a great sense of humor.  But most importantly, we are passionate about our career and the families the we have the honor of serving!  We absolutely love what we do!

So, tell us what your doula is made of!  If you've just begun your search, tell us what you're looking for in a doula!

Written By: Andrea Myers

What Will My Body Do Next? Fun Bodily Fluids in the 3rd Trimester.

Aaahh discharge.  That lovely, snotty, mucuousy, stuff that we find mid cycle, and increases during pregnancy.  It's one of those magical things that happen during pregnancy that women only talk about in hushed tones with other women.

It can be a precursor to an infection so if it has a smell, burns, or is any other color than milky or clear,check with your provider.  In fact, if you have any qualms about your discharge, it's always better to ask your ob/gyn or midwife to ease your worries.

What exactly is discharge?  Medically speaking:  It is a combo of old cells and normal bacteria flora from the vagina and the walls of the vagina.

What is means for you: stocking up on panty liners, and having lots of natural lubrication for a roll in the hay.  But in all honesty, it aids in getting your body ready for labor and changes as your hormones fluctuate.  It also helps to flush out bacteria which is a win-win for you and baby.

Discharge is just another one of the wonderful processes that happen to make women...women.  Don't be afraid to talk about it.  While it might be cumbersome, it is natural.  So the next time you're changing your liner because it looks like your vagina sneezed clear snot, give yourself a pat on the back.  Your body is working well and know that millions of other women are going through it with you.  Wipe on Ladies!!

Summer Babies

As we are getting into the warmer months, my mind has been on my beautiful clients who are due to give birth soon.  I know the discomfort that comes with being in the third trimester during Summer.  I have two summer babies.  My second daughter was born a month early in mid July and my third daughter was born June 11, 2014.  (Happy 1st Birthday to my littlest angel, Isla Rose!)

 If I could have picked my due dates, they would have been in Spring.  Summer babies have benefits and drawbacks.

Why I Dislike Summer Birthdays:

Pregnant women are normally warmer in general.  Throw in summer's sizzling temps and you've got one hot lady!  And I don't just mean sexy.

Bathing suits.  All maternity bathing suits are $80+ No way would I buy that for a couple months.

Worrying about a newborn getting overly heated and sunblock.  All sunblock says on the packaging not to smear on babies unless they are 6 months.  So what are we supposed to do if we want to take our precious new angels outside?  I slathered mine up with a natural sunblock because I was too afraid putting long sleeve shirts/pants would cause them to be overheated.

Postpartum bleeding.  Enough said.  No swimming for this mama for two summers.


Benefits to Summer Birthdays:

Beautiful weather for your child's birthday party...every year.  I don't have to worry about a zillion people cooped up in my house because we can be in the pool or under an outdoor tent.  Plus serving BBQ to people is generally cheaper.

Lots of summer parties to show off your new little one.  I loved showing off my new one in those adorable sun dresses with the matching hats.  Bonus: I love going to parties and cuddling those new little ones since mine are getting bigger.

People giving you a pass on making an appetizer/dessert for those summer soiree's.  Maybe not in everyone's family but in mine, they never made me cook or do the after cleaning.  I got to put my freshly pedicured, swollen feet up and talk to my hearts content.

Summer always seems to pass so quickly, it can make those last few weeks of pregnancy go by swifly.



Thinking of all you hot (temperature), beautiful women who are in the home stretch of pregnancy.  I'd be happy to share a non-alcoholic margarita with you this summer and let you put your feet up.  You're almost there!

www.ajoyfuljourney.org
Written By: Cathryn Smith

Dilation is Just A Number

Most people know that when it comes to giving birth vaginally, a woman’s cervix must go from 0 cm to 10 cm, before she can deliver her baby. Okay, so it's not just a number, it does play a pretty important role. Personally, though, I think that expecting parents can focus a little too much on the number and often times don’t realize the many other ways that labor is progressing.

For example, during the birth of my 4th daughter, I was in very active labor (if not transition) when my midwife suggested that she check the dilation of my cervix.  I consented & after checking me, she told me I was 5 cm.  Being very vulnerable & definitely in transition, I thought there was no way!  I had to be close to done!  After walking from the bathroom to the bed and a few really tough contractions, I was complete & began involuntarily pushing.  I went from 5 cm to baby in my arms in about 15 minutes!

That being said, aside from contractions & cervical dilation, there are other factors that can show us progress in labor.

1.Position of Cervix- A cervix moving from posterior (near the back, hard to reach) to anterior (near the front of the vagina, easy to reach) is considered a sign of progress.

2.Effacement- The cervix starts out long & firm, but as labor progresses, the cervix shortens &  thins.

3.Baby’s Station- The caregiver finds the ischial spines & estimates the distance between the spines and the baby’s head.  If the head is above the spines, it’s considered a negative station.  If it’s below, it’s considered a positive station.

4.Checking for Position
Anterior fontanel- The diamond shaped fontanel located near the front of baby's head is presented.
Posterior fontanel- The triangle shaped fontanel located towards the back of the baby's head is  presented.

As you can see, there are quite a few factors to look at when determining progress in labor.  Cervical dilation is just one of them.  Try not to get stuck on the number.

Written by: Andrea Myers

 Disclaimer: As doulas, we DO NOT perform clinical tasks i.e. check the cervix.  We leave that to the medical professionals.  We are just familiar with how the cervix works.

Babies in Crochet Make My Uterus Say Hey

I have to admit, I really have no urge to watch any sports on tv. Baseball...eh.  Basketball...maybe.  Football...yuck.  Soccer or Golf...No Way.  Even in "real life" sports don't really grab me.  However, I do enjoy hockey.  Maybe it's because I'm not sweatin my butt off but comfortably snuggled up to my adorable husband.

  Anyways, the Chicago Blackhawks won yesterday.  I wish I could say I stayed up late last night like so many of my other friends to watch the win, but I didn't.  In fact, the only reason I know they won is because EVERYONE was posting about it on Facebook this morning.

Along with these posts were pictures of their adorable kiddos wearing Blackhawks apparel.  I don't know what it is about little ones in sports paraphernalia, but it is just too cute for words.  Especially the crocheted items for newborns.  I can't get enough.  Every time I see one of my clients taking their sweet newborns for photographs with adorable crocheted items, my uterus hurts. Sports crocheted items included.

I know, I know.  I get the pleasure of seeing newborns all the time.  I am so incredibly lucky.  I'll never get sick of seeing a new life welcomed into the world, holding them, and feeling their soft skin.  My heart is always ready to welcome a new little one; my brain is another story.  But my uterus just screams out, yes have one more when I see these little darlings in crocheted hockey items.

So to all my clients, friends, and family with little ones, feel free to send me your sweeties adorable pics and GO HAWKS!!

BTW, image was taken from my amazing friend Carrie who owns Little Punky Designs.

12 Things Every Woman Thinks During Labor

12 Things Every Woman Thinks During Labor
Written by: Cathy Smith

1.   I can't wait to meet this baby!

Those first few contractions can be exhilarating and/or scary.  Reality sets in that this day, you will finally meet your sweet baby.

2. These contractions aren't so bad.

What's the big fuss about labor right?!  It's not that intense.  I myself succumbed to this thought and want to slap myself in the face later on for even thinking that labor would be a walk in the park the second, third, etc...time around.

3.  Whoa!  These contractions are getting intense.

Refer to #2 with why I always want to slap myself in the face.  What was I thinking? That labor would be a walk in the park?  Rest assured to  know these surges are doing some good work when you can no longer talk or walk through them.

4.   I can do this.

You will go back and forth in your mind about what you can tolerate.  I can do this, is a wonderfully empowered place to be.  It is such a basic but powerful thought.

5.   I can't do this.

We have all been there.  At some point in your labor, this thought will pass through your mind.  It's usually at the transitional time or a recurring thought during very long labors.  It brings you to a place of ultimate vulnerability.  Letting your mind go and succumbing to your body is an arduous process.

6.   F$*^ or OMG!!!!

This potty mouth thought usually occurs right before the strongest urge of your life occurs.  Words really can't convey the all consuming feeling your body feels.


7.   It burns!/Get it out!

I have to laugh at this one.  Not only do most women who give birth vaginally think this thought, but most speak either expression right as the head is crowning.  Or refer to #6.  It can be described as the ring of fire.  What you feel at this moment in your life will be etched into your memory forever.  It is you in your very most primal state.  I remember the pain but think about it lovingly.  For it was at this moment, that my children were in between worlds.


8.   No Thoughts...Just the largest sense of relief.

You have just birthed your baby.  In a few microseconds, your thought will be, let me see/hold my baby.  Your heart is about to melt.  But right now there is an amazing sense that you've completed your task.


9.Oh my goodness I just had a baby!

Sweet relief.  Childbirth is over.  Hallelujah!


10. Let me see/Hold my baby.

Those first moments of seeing your newborn and holding that sweet, warm, wet babe will be the most precious moments of your life.  Even as I write this and remember my own little angels births, I can't help but shed tears at the miracle of this first connection.


11. This baby is beautiful!

Yes mama.  Your child is the most beautiful creature on this Earth.  Pure and perfect.  You created one darn lookin kid.  You should be proud.


12. I did it!

You actually did it.  You rocked your birth!  Whether it was natural birth with hypnobirthing, or used every drug in the arsenal, you just birthed a baby!  You are a part of the most amazing club on Earth...the Mommy Club.  We are woman, hear us roar.  Give yourself a pat on the back, enjoy that beautiful child, and know that you can do anything!

Healing From Birth Trauma

"Even if our birth story was never told to us, our bodies remember.  We know our family history.  Even if 'forgotten', we know it somewhere deep inside.  Birth Therapy shows that the emotions and attitudes of an adult’s life are present in our birth experience.  This becomes what we have taken on as our life’s healing."  I read this the other day, while looking for ideas to help me to support mothers who need to heal from their birth experiences.  Reading that really struck a cord with me because my own birth was very traumatic, so it's no wonder that I have such a big heart for birth work.  It's not just a job, it's a passion. 

As a doula, I try to support a family as best as I can, to have the birth that they are hoping for.  But I know that it's not always possible.  Some times we don't get the beautiful experiences that we're hoping for and we feel disappointed.  Sometimes we have an experience that is completely opposite of what we wanted and we are traumatized by what happened.  So what can I do, to help a family to begin to heal from their birth trauma?  Search for ways to support these families through their healing.

I don't know if any of you follow January Harshe & her Birth Without Fear Blog, but if not, you should check it out.  So much awesomeness. Anyways, she recently posted on her Facebook page, a picture of her tub all set up for a healing postpartum bath after her most recent birth.  

  Then, I started googling 'healing from a traumatic birth' & 'affirmations for healing birth trauma'.  I came across this blog: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/birth-reclaiming-ceremony/ and decided this would be such an amazing service to offer & why have I never heard of this until now?

Digging a little deeper, I found ideas for birth trauma healing workshops.  These will be in a small group setting and won't be as personal as a birth reclaiming ceremony in a clients home, but they will still work towards the same purpose. Healing & bonding with their child.

Cathy & I are excited to announce that we are now offering personalized birth reclaiming ceremonies and will be offering birth healing workshops in the near future! We've got a beautiful space in Minooka where we have been offering childbirth education, as well as breastfeeding and postpartum support.  We really are looking for more ways to support families in our community and are excited to expand our services.  If any of you have any suggestions, we would be glad to hear them! 

Love & Warmth,

Andrea

The Power of Fear

As a mother & doula, I have a strong belief that fear has the ability to interfere with or prevent labor.  Why? In labor, catecholamines (the stress hormones) have the potential to stop labor. When a woman is very frightened labor fails to progress. I'm not just refering to fear of labor or birth. It could be fear of parenting, fear  of the unknown or past traumas resurfacing.  

Of my 4 full term births, I have only gone into labor on my own once & I truly feel that it is because I trusted (didn't fear) my providers, so I felt secure enough for my body to work the way it was meant to.  This was for the birth of my 3rd daughter, after being induced with my 1st daughter & having a c-section without labor with my 2nd daughter.  For the birth of my 4th daughter, I expected it to be similar to what I experienced with my 3rd.

Unfortunately, at 38 or 39 weeks, one of the midwives in the practice started bringing up meeting with an OB to schedule a cesarean.  This struck me as odd that she would bring this up before I was even 40 weeks, but I felt secure in knowing that my body could do it, just as it had the last time.  However, she had untentionally planted a seed of doubt & that seed of doubt quickly grew into fear.  I actually scheduled a repeat c-section for 41 weeks & 3 days, which sent me into panic mode.  Another midwife in the group realized the day before, that I had a c-section scheduled for the following day.  I planned to not show up.  She convinced me to come in & be induced instead.  I was able to have a beautiful birth experience with a great supportive group of people that I trusted surrounding me, but my body never did take over completely on it's own.

If you've never heard of Ina May Gaskin, I highly recommend reading some of her books.  My favorite book of hers is called 'Ina May's Guide To Childbirth'.  Aside from the inspiring birth stories in this book, there is a wonderful chapter in it called The Powerful Mind/Body Connection where Ina talks about how our thinking & emotions can affect our labor.  In this chapter, she recalls women being unable to progress in labor until they have faced their fears, whatever they may be.  Then she speaks of instances where a mother wills her body to open up.  One instance in particular, Ina was checking a woman's dilation.  The woman was at 4cm and as Ina was checking her the woman said that she just wanted her body to open up.  When she spoke those words Ina felt the woman's cervix open another 2cm.  I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about how amazing that must have been!

Ina May Gaskin Quotes:

"True words spoken can sometimes relax the pelvic floor muscles by discharging emotions that effectively block further progress in labor."

"For a variety of reasons, a lot of women have also come to believe that nature made a serious mistake with their bodies."  

"The Creator is not a careless mechanic."

"Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body"

Marie Mongan talks about the affects of fear in her book HypnoBirthing a Celebration of Life.  Marie says, "It is believed that catecholamine is released in large concentration prior to and during labor when a woman approaches labor with unresolved fear.".  So, how do we overcome our fears?

Here are a few suggestions:

• Read some positive birth stories.
• Make some birth affirmation cards that you can read whenever that fear starts to creep in and make it a daily practice to read them aloud.
• Do something that relaxes you. Read, swim, take a walk, get a massage, meditate.... whatever helps & is in your means to do.
• Pray.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Sometime we can't fight battles on our own, nor should we.  You can even get creative & make a prayer flag.
• Try a fear release exercise.  There's a great one here: http://www.transitiontoparenthood.com/ttp/foreducators/handouts/Tigers.pdf

I had been meaning to write this blog for over a month now, but I felt that now was the right time, with a very special client in mind.  I hope this will help her and many other women to face their fears & conquer them.  We were made for this.

With Love,

Andrea