A First of Many!!!

Last Saturday, October 17th 2015, something amazing happened at New Life Church in New Lenox, IL.  

Something that Cathy & I had been working tirelessly to organize and promote for the past 6 months.  Last Saturday, our very first fundraiser took place!  The fundraiser was for our local domestic violence program called Groundwork!

Even though we raised a decent amount  of money ($656.55 after expenses), so much more was raised besides funds that day!

You see, my mom was a victim of domestic violence...

my dad was her abuser...

and myself and my siblings were raised in a violent upbringing.

Last Saturday, we got to raise awareness and raise our voices.  

We know that silence hides violence, so we stood together and spoke out against domestic violence!

Our speakers consisted of myself, my brother Jake, the Groundwork Program Director Amirrah, Groundwork client Sarah and my friend Angelica.  We each had different stories to tell...

...I was able to tell the story of my traumatic birth, which my mom and I both nearly lost our lives, as a result of that day....

...My brother Jake talked about what it was like for him as a little boy, growing up seeing our dad beat our mom... and fearing for our lives.  He spoke about the struggles that he still faces today... and the importance of good male role models in our children's lives...

...Amirrah shared with us the importance of the Groundwork program in our community and her hopes that one day there won't be a need for such a program...

Sarah spoke about her experience with a boyfriend (who hit her for the first time by back handing her as he drove them someplace)... she said she was so stunned that she apologized to him and kept telling herself that they would be okay... however, the abuse continued and escalated for years before she finally left him for good.... and it seems like a miracle to me that she survived the things that he put her through...

... Angelica talked about a relationship that she got into when she was 15 or 16.  Her boyfriend was mean and controlling... but had never hit her... until he did.  Only, the first time that he hit her wasn't just a slap (whatever that means)... He brutally beat her... to the point where she was covered in blood and had to be hospitalized at 16 years old....

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE knows no class, race, age, etc.  

It can happen and it does happen everyday.

I felt so honored to have been in the presence of so many survivors of domestic violence..

knowing that there were so many more who haven't survived.

Aside from speakers, we made sure to have something to entertain the whole family!  It was a vendor fair, so we had shopping!  

We also had raffle prizes, a jumpy house for the kids, face painting & delicious brunch catered by my sister Jen.  

Everyone had a great time!  

Cathy & I can't wait to do it again (BIGGER & BETTER) next year!

Lots of Love,

Andrea

Being Proud of Your Cesarean Birth

I love when I make new acquaintances and we get on the topic of birth.  As a doula, birth is always on my mind. I am always excited to talk about other womens' experiences. Lately, I've noticed a trend that makes me sad.  Women hanging their heads in shame when they tell me that one of their births ended in a cesarean section.  This shame saddens me to no end.

When have we started as a society, shaming women because their child was birthed surgically?  What gives us the right to shame other women.  Women are shamed today for just about everything.  We have fought for the right to vote, the right to decide what to do with our bodies, and equality. We have to justify our decision to work outside the home, be a stay at home mom, our finances, and the endure the endless shaming of our appearance on advertising, television, and social media.

Yes of course for most women, a cesarean is not the desired birth.  But for some, it is.  It is not our right to judge.  My job and my personal belief is to support women of every culture, background, and decision they make. Women make decisions based on what they believe to be the best for their baby and their body.

Don't hang your head if you had an unplanned, unwanted c-section.  You are not a failure.  You accomplished an awesome feat!  You brought a beautiful baby into the world.  You and your baby overcame an obstacle and thrived.  Be proud of yourselves ladies.  Stop shaming each other.  Most importantly, stop shaming yourself!  You were created by God and he doesn't make mistakes.

So the next time I talk with a woman who birthed her baby via cesarean, I want to hear all about the positive aspects of the birth.  Don't hang your head in shame. Be Proud!

Peace and Love,

Cathy Smith, CD(DONA)

Celebrating 1 Year With A Bang! Giving Back To Our Community!

This month marks 1 year since Cathy & I became business partners!  To celebrate, we wanted to do something to give back to our community. We began brainstorming a few months ago... maybe we'd host a diaper drive, or a March of Dimes walk, or some type of 5k.  We wanted to do something that related to moms & babies.  

After a lot of planning, I'm so excited to announce that we will be having a vendor fair next month to benefit Groundwork Domestic Violence Program! October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so we decided what better time to host such a special event?  Some people may wonder, what does domestic violence have to do with moms & babies?  The answer: domestic violence affects many, many mothers and therefore their babies & children.  Here are some statistics on who domestic violence hurts & how.

1. Facts About Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

• Affects approximately 1.5 million women each year
• Affects as many as 324,000 pregnant women each year
• May be more common than conditions for which pregnant women are routinely screened
• Possibly associated with unintended pregnancy, delayed prenatal care, smoking, alcohol and drug abuse

2.The effects of domestic violence on pregnancy

Abuse is harmful not only to the woman being abused, but also to her baby, particularly if she takes blows to the abdomen. Such attacks can cause fetal fractures and cause injuries to or ruptures of the pregnant woman's uterus, liver, or spleen.

Studies have shown that during pregnancy, an abuser's attacks will generally focus on the breasts, abdomen, and genitals, resulting in serious consequences on the mother, fetus, and newborn and giving rise to maternal mortality and morbidity. It's linked to an increased risk of miscarriage, low birth weight, fetal injury, and fetal death.

Other complications may include:

• uterine prolapse
• antepartum hemorrhage
• premature rupture of membranes
• premature labor
• abruptio placenta
• vaginal infection from forced or unprotected sex with someone who has an infection
• increased first and second trimester bleeding
• headache
• irritable bowel syndrome
• chronic pelvic pain
• increased risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV/AIDS

3. Domestic Violence in America: General Statistics and Facts

• Women ages 18 to 34 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
• More than 4 million women experience physical assault and rape by their partners.
• 1 in 3 female homicide victims are murdered by their current or former partner every year.

What are the Effects of Domestic Violence on Children?

• More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year.
• Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
• Children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.
• Children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.

What are the Effects of Domestic Violence on Mental Health?

• Domestic violence victims face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances, anxiety, flashbacks, and other emotional distress.
• Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors including chronic conditions such as heart disease or gastrointestinal disorders.
• Most women brought to emergency rooms due to domestic violence were socially isolated and had few social and financial resources.

What Happens if Domestic Violence Victims Do Not Receive Help?

• Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.
• Without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.

#1 FACT: Most domestic violence incidents are never reported.

Help change the facts. Speak up, speak out, and make a difference for victims of domestic violence.

Groundwork Domestic Violence Program is a wonderful resource for local families.  I'm so happy that we're able to give back to them.  If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, get help by reaching out at: 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 

24-HOUR HOTLINE: 

(815) 729-1228

To get involved in this fundraiser event, contact me at myers.andrea79@yahoo.com!

Read my birth story at http://andreasshortstories.weebly.com

Love & Light,

Andrea

1. http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/violence/intimatepartnerviolence/sld001.htm#2

2. http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/dv/pregnancy.php

3. http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics--facts-52.html

My Journey as a Stillbirthday Student

The past few weeks have been so busy for me!  I began my training to become a Stillbirthday Birth & Bereavment Doula last month.  I'm on week 5 & I'm learning so much!

I've trained with DONA & toLabor in the past and although I really value all that I learned through them, especially the hands on experience, I'm really enjoying being able to slow down as much as I need to & do this at my own pace. Plus, this really goes deep into the many possibilities surrounding loss.

I suffered a miscarriage when I was 15 years old.  Reading about early miscarriages brought back a lot of feelings that I hadn't felt in awhile. I suppose that's part of the beauty of this training.

Also, this training has seemed to open up a dialogue for me to be able to talk with other mothers about loss & for other mothers to be able to reach out to me. It's good to know that we're not alone in this.

One of the projects that I have to do is a community project.  I've decided to create a website for families going through loss which will have local resources for them, ways that I can support them & ideas for honoring their baby's life.

This is a tough journey, but I feel blessed to be on this journey.  I'm looking forward to being able to say (hopefully soon) that I'm a Certified SBD Doula.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a loss, please don't hesitate to reach out.  You're not alone in this journey.

Much Love,

Andrea

Placenta in Your Beauty Products!

You read that right!

  This interesting tidbit of information I just learned after training with the country's Master Postpartum Placenta Support person.  Deb Pocica from Placenta Prep (ProDoula) shared an amazing amount of knowledge with myself and quite a few other Birth and Postpartum Professionals from the Chicagoland area.  In other blogs I will go into the awesomeness of placentas but for right now, let's have a little fun!

Did you know that according to a few manufacturers, hormones extracted from the placenta help promote tissue growth.  You will find the names of placenta in "secret beauty talk" such as Hyaluronic Acid, Protein Hydrolysate, and Polypeptides.  When tissue growth is promoted, wrinkles are removed.  Must be where the expression comes from, Smooth as a baby's...Nevermind. :-)

I'm sure a few of you are saying eww.  But you should look at this differently.  It's just another reason why the placenta is so cool!  I don't know about you, but  I would rather have something with our biological structure on my face than a million other chemicals.

Just to name a few of these products that have these "secret beauty talk" ingredients are:

Dermalogica
Avon
Pevonia
Almay
Paula's Choice

So ladies, embrace the placenta.  It connected you and your baby, it nourished your baby, and it's making you appear 5-10 years younger according to the beauty industry.

Wishing you Peace and Harmony,

Cathy Smith
A Joyful Journey

....That's What Doulas Are Made Of.

When Cathy & I first met, we quickly realized that we shared some very similar qualities as doulas.  All doulas are different.  We all have different values, personalities & qualities that helps us to serve our clients.  Let me tell you a little bit about what the doulas at A Joyful Journey are made of.

• Flexible- I'm not talking yoga moves here.  We have to have flexible schedules for our clients.  Which means we're willing to be woken up in the middle of the night, or drop whatever we're doing in the middle of the day, to get to our clients when they need us.  It typically takes us around an hour to get to our clients.

• Balanced- Although we provide 24/7 on-call service to our clients starting at 37 weeks gestation, we can divide our on-call time, so that we can still tend to our families & have time off.  Doula work can be extremely stressful when you don't have a good support team.  There is an exceptionally high burnout rate for doulas, with the average career for a doula lasting about 3-5 years.  We understand the importance of balancing our careers & personal life.

• Professional- As professional doulas, we strive to act in a professional manner, not only with our clients, but with all members of their support team.  We do not overstep our boundaries by doing or saying things that are out of our scope of practice.  Aside from our initial doula training, we continue to further our education to better benefit the families that we serve.  This month alone, Cathy will be training to become a placenta specialist with Placenta Prep and I'll be training to become a bereavement doula with Stillbirthday.

• Non-Judgmental- Cathy & I believe in birth.  We absolutely believe in a woman's ability to birth her baby!  We also trust that our clients will make the decisions that are best for her & her baby.  We do not judge if a mom decides to do the opposite of what her birth plan says, or if she yells, screams or swears, or if she requests an epidural at the onset of labor, etc.  We offer evidence based information and non-judgmental support.  We respect your choices.

• Personality- Although our personality types are pretty different, we share some great characteristics.  We are both caring, thoughtful, calming & have a great sense of humor.  But most importantly, we are passionate about our career and the families the we have the honor of serving!  We absolutely love what we do!

So, tell us what your doula is made of!  If you've just begun your search, tell us what you're looking for in a doula!

Written By: Andrea Myers

What Will My Body Do Next? Fun Bodily Fluids in the 3rd Trimester.

Aaahh discharge.  That lovely, snotty, mucuousy, stuff that we find mid cycle, and increases during pregnancy.  It's one of those magical things that happen during pregnancy that women only talk about in hushed tones with other women.

It can be a precursor to an infection so if it has a smell, burns, or is any other color than milky or clear,check with your provider.  In fact, if you have any qualms about your discharge, it's always better to ask your ob/gyn or midwife to ease your worries.

What exactly is discharge?  Medically speaking:  It is a combo of old cells and normal bacteria flora from the vagina and the walls of the vagina.

What is means for you: stocking up on panty liners, and having lots of natural lubrication for a roll in the hay.  But in all honesty, it aids in getting your body ready for labor and changes as your hormones fluctuate.  It also helps to flush out bacteria which is a win-win for you and baby.

Discharge is just another one of the wonderful processes that happen to make women...women.  Don't be afraid to talk about it.  While it might be cumbersome, it is natural.  So the next time you're changing your liner because it looks like your vagina sneezed clear snot, give yourself a pat on the back.  Your body is working well and know that millions of other women are going through it with you.  Wipe on Ladies!!